“Quiet,” Rogue hissed at me. “You’re going to wake up mom.”
“Leave me alone,” I whispered back at my sister. “Just shut up. She won’t wake up. She snores way to loud.”
“Whatever.” She flipped her chocolate brown hair back, glaring at me with piercing green eyes. It surprised me how different we both were, even though we’re twins. Of course we looked the same, but she was impatient, bossy, and oddly enough, calm — When she wanted to be, of course. She describes me as ‘sarcastic’, and annoying. But I really wasn’t in the mood for her whispered yelling at me. If she didn’t shut up I would probably hit her. Because mom can’t wake up and find us trying to sneak out of the house, or she will probably ground us until after the upcoming Valentine’s Day Dance.
Rogue crawled passed the couch – Where our mom was passed out. Not exactly something normal for other families, but since my mom always hosted Adult parties it was to be expected.
“Shh,” she hushed at me. She kept crawling passed the stand by the couch and through the french doors to the patio. I trailed along silently behind her. We both stood up as we closed the doors and ran along the wet, green grass to our friend Aubrey and her car.
“Hi,” she said, smiling happily and waving as we ran over. “’Bout time, Caylee was getting impatient.” She pointed to the passenger seat where Rogue’s best friend sat. Caylee didn’t know where we were going. It was a surprise!
Even in the dark I could see her long, blond hair and sharp, blue eyes. Her weak, spagetti arms were folded across her pink sweater.
Rogue laughed. It sounded a little bit like bells ringing. When I laughed it sounded like a pig dying. It’s probably because I dance while Rogue sings. It really wasn’t fair how she sounded like an angel and me a trucker. But it didn’t matter anyway, I got the brains. Don’t forget the sarcastic humour.
I watched a tiny, black cat walk right by in front of the car, probably out hunting for food or something.
“Scarlett, hurry up!” My sister silently screeched to me. She was already by the car, holding open the door behind the passenger. I ran over to the car and opened the door behind the drivers seat. As soon as I closed it Aubrey zoomed away. She could drive very well when going fast. Despite being only seventeen – five weeks older than me and Rogue.
We zoomed for a few minutes, listening to one of Caylee’s mixed CD’s. It was all pop and some Disney. Sometimes I wondered if Caylee was even eighteen or just eleven. She was one of those people who wanted to be a scene queen like Audrey Kitching or Hanna Beth. I don’t know how Rogue can stand it. Her bleached hair is fried, and she buys eyeliner every month. On top of it all — She’s saving for Photoshop.
I rolled my eyes to my thoughts. I usually thought of different things when impatient. Also, making fun of my sisters best friend seemed a little mean.
Aubrey stopped in front of my best friend Delilah’s house. She turned the key from the ignition and sat there, waiting, as I impatiently drummed my fingers on the door. I watched as Delilah ran from the front door to open the door by Rogue.
"Excuse me," she said, hoping over my twin and sitting beside me. She had her short, black hair in two pigtails by her ear and bright, purple eyeliner on her face.
"Hey," I said, smirking and slapping her a high-five. She grinned and gave me a thumbs up.
"Nice hair." She yanked my side ponytail. I smiled a wide smile and she grinned back.
"Okay, almost there," Aubrey shouted over the music. I watched out the window as she parked beside a red Jeep. All five of us walked into the abandoned subway station and joined the crowd.
"Woah," smiled Caylee. She glanced at the huge stage and lights, and then the really big stereo and many speakers. "What is all this for?" She asked, her eyebrows scruntching together in confusion.
"Well," replied Rogue. "It’s an underground concert. We all buy tickets from this guy downtown and we come here at midnight once a week. Many people sign up and they do dances and preforms songs and stuff." She pointed to a gathering of teenagers about the same age as us by the judging table. "Those guys over there judge them and the top 3 get free spots next week and get money too."

I think it’s great for your age, but maybe you can use less quotes.